I AM Happier This Way

My performance is this Sunday.

It is one of my most fearful and dreadful roles - Princess Dowry...(LOL)

Reasons as follow;

- There are some changes in the actions and movements and I am totally not sure of them. I was busy and did not have the time to learn the new movements. (So it is my fault because Troupe's number 1 motto is "MUST HAVE TIME")


- Frankly speaking, I am scared of the role... Maybe you can say that I am conscious of the role. I look so gigantic and awful when I am dressed up as a dan... Distasteful isn't it?


- Beside technical aspects, I am quite tied up physically and emotionally... I am now back to work and each time I finish a day of work, I am so drained out...especially now is the H1N1 period, there are so many things to follow up.
In addition, I have some other worries and concerns to attend to... In a way, I am really not "INTO" KH matters now... My concentration and commitment level is really very low.

One interesting thing that I found out, allow me to sidetrack a bit.

I remember that the word "当家" isn't a word in the troupe's vocab list. However it was USED TO be discouraged.

There was once someone who approached the troupe for a performance and she wanted the TOPs in that performance. She was told that there wasn't such a thing as TOPS and everyone in the troupe was considered as equals...

Now... the word "当家" is used and emphasised... (LOL)

I used to aspire to be a TOP... (Hahahahahahaha)

It does not matter now, in fact, it is only just a word without significance...

To me, this word is only used on people who really deserve it.

LPY is a deserving TOP in her troupe. This is definitely for sure, confirmed and certified!!! I really admire her performance. If you really do come across her show, please go and watch and you will know why.

As for me, I don't even qualify for a committed member in my troupe. ;P

I am happier this way. (^_^)